I’ve thought for some time that today’s society is not conducive to breast-feeding. The extended family is defunct and nowadays most mothers have a job outside the home. Many will get stressed out just at the thought of how they might cope, and who will look after their child when their maternity leave ends.

In addition to working, and perhaps studying for further qualifications, mothers are expected to have an organised house, care for the other children in the family, respond to invitations to attend various “baby classes’ and meet other mothers in the community, take exercise to get into shape so that they can get back into their pre-pregnancy dress size. They are expected to have a social life and lovingly breast feed in coffee shops, restaurants and supermarkets as if life goes on normally, and the baby behaves like a kind of well-behaved appendage, when all you want to do is to just get home and behave like a broody hen.

And get some sleep…..

And then they are the midwives and health visitors who visit at various stages. Helpful they are too. But you have to run around before they come swivvering and vacuuming, dusting and swooshing and piling baby clutter behind the couch. Oh, and you better clean the loo. And what about the kitchen sink? Will they want to go into the kitchen inspect how you are sterilising stuff. You’d better get dressed properly for their visit and put on some make up too. If you don’t do all of these things they’ll think you have post-natal depression and give you loads of questionnaires to fill in.

And all you want to do is get some sleep…..

There can be an endless stream of visitors too after a baby is born. Many just drift in with an entourage of kids “just to see the baby” and perhaps with the exception of very close relatives create yet another pile of dirty dishes to be washed. All they want to do is talk, when all you want to do is spend some time alone bonding with your new child.

And get some sleep…….

I can remember when my children were born, the number of people that appeared just “to see the baby” drove me nuts. I can remember too being so grateful to my neighbour next door. She never intruded but most mornings, I would find a bag of home made cakes, scones or pancakes left at the back door with the message “ for your cup of tea or just in case you have visitors today.” She had been quietly observing the visitor trail. What a wonderful neighbour she was. She understood the problem when few others did.

It is difficult to breastfeed when you are exhausted through lack of sleep and entertaining all and sundry. The exhaustion and stress is passed on to the baby. Is it any wonder the breast fed baby becomes cantankerous?

Well, at long last it seems at least some of this is being recognised:

BREAST FED BABIES SHOW MORE CHALLENGING TEMPERAMENTS, STUDY FINDS

COUNTRY : UK

“Breastfed babies cry more, laugh less, and generally have “more challenging temperaments” than formula-fed infants, a study has found. But such behaviour is normal, and mothers should learn to cope with it rather than reach for the bottle, according to researchers.

Infant irritability was said to be a natural part of the “dynamic communication” between mothers and babies.
Bottle-feeding was akin to “comfort eating” – producing quieter and apparently more content babies who may be over-nourished and putting on weight too rapidly.

The study rated the temperament of 316 babies at age three months using a 191-item behaviour questionnaire completed by their mothers.”

Well, your truly is not at all convinced that “infant irritability “ is a natural part of “dynamic communication” between mothers and babies.

I think they are delving too deeply for answers, but maybe sometime, if I can find the original paper being referred to I might get round to reading it and the 191 item questionnaire that the mothers had to answer, but it probably won’t change my mind that today’s society is not conducive to breast feeding.

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